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DEATH, DIVORCE & BUYING A HOME …. The big three of life’s most stressful experiences
I have noticed that in the purchase of a home my clients have two basically different kinds of needs.
First and foremost, they come to me with transactional needs, such as finding the home that is right for their family.
They need someone who is not only able to help them locate that home but also skilled at negotiating the deal, properly filling out the mountains of paperwork, handling the escrow and helping them do the things necessary for a successful closing.
It is however the emotional needs that arise between the opening and close of escrow that most of my clients do not foresee and this is usually the area which produces the greatest stress for them.
Unfulfilled emotional needs lead to frustration, be it from not fully understanding the process in which they are involved or one of the multitude of little things which seem crop up during the escrow.
Finding the home, opening an escrow and helping my clients with their due diligence are usually the easiest parts of my job. Being there for them and helping them see that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train screaming out of control towards them when they feel their world is on the verge of coming unglued is often the most rewarding part of my job. It is during those moments of challenge that true friendship and trust are born and lifetime relationships made.
Every transaction has its challenges, how we deal with them is a measure of our success.
I have found these few points frequently help to beat stress before it begins.
Begin the process with the end in mind
Have in mind an ultimate scenario for the successful achievement of the goal you are seeking. Visualize in your mind a perfect picture of where you will be at the end of the process. What will life be like when you arrive? How will your life be better after you achieve this goal?
Your mind is your strongest connection to your goals and dreams; visualize a complete picture of your intended accomplishment.
Hold this vision in your mind until the picture is not only clear but the entirety of the desired results are plainly visible to you. Stop everything at this point and find a note pad and paint with words this image upon the pad. Don’t rush this process and make sure to include the feelings (emotions strengthen desire) you experience while viewing the mental image.
Now for the most imperative part of this exercise, keep this written transcript in an accessible place easily retrievable, bring it out it often and review the details until the image is once again clear in your mind’s eye. Having your objective in front of you in this fashion energizes your mind and creative abilities which in turn help you achieve the goal, this in turn reduces the intensity of any setbacks or frustrations which are a natural part of the process as they will be minimized before they even occur.
The emotions of the closing process frequently take us to places and feelings we do not typically experience on a daily basis. When they reach their heights, remember the anchor that you created on the note pad. Take it in hand read it again, visualize it and focus all of your minds resources on it and your intended results.
In moments you will begin feel the emotions subside as your confidence in your choices are reassured by the knowledge that while life does have its ups and downs and that nothing worth having comes without effort that you are on the path to your dream.
Be flexible
This is another big one for most of us. We attempt to plan and control even the minutest of details so that nothing could possibly ever go wrong. The closing process is the coming together of many different details and task. Even the most cautiously laid out plan will be subjected to the unexpected occurrence on occasion. Plan on that! Plan contingencies and understand that even with prior planning; things we didn’t foresee may occur.
In your monetary calculations, always over estimate rather than underestimate. Try to have an emergency cushion of funds available for the unanticipated development. In our market anything can happen between the initial contract and final closing. An inspection may reveal an unexpected area of concern that the seller may refuse to fix. Repair cost may exceed the estimate, interest rates could change, insurance cost may more than you figured or any of a multitude of other little things frequently raise up their heads just when you feel it has all been taken care of.
As your professional Buyer's representative I will make every effort to tie up the loose ends and deal with them in a fashion that minimized your frustrations but please remember it is not a perfect world and that my job is to assist you in solving the problems as well as help you understand and keep them in proper perspective.
Trust in the process
There is much to be done to reach the Magical moment of my handing you the keys to your new home. There will be times where you may question each of your motives and moments which could bring complete frustration. Everyone experiences what we label Buyer's Remorse. That’s the moment of sudden panic where you find yourselves asking each other, “Why are we doing this?” Don’t be dismayed, it’s natural to have doubts with the making of any major choice.
You may feel as though you are taking a great risk but remember, home ownership is an opportunity, an investment and fills a basic requirement of life. Your family’s need for shelter lowers risk to a manageable level.
If your plan was sound in the beginning, your home will not only provide the shelter you desire but over time it should prove to be your most winning investment ever.
There will be times where seeing the light ahead becomes a challenge. Take peace in knowing that others have gone through the process and triumphed over it, so shall you. I am here for you as a guide and trusted advisor. I have been there for many clients to lead them through the testy moments of doubt, over turbulent emotions and guide them to the light and reward of the magic moment; that of handing them the key to their dreams.
The trails and tribulations of the process quickly fade away and forgotten only to be replaced by years of reward and joy that home ownership brings.
Seek Knowledge and Rely on my
Guidance
One thing most clients feel during the process is the sense of being out of control. They feel that others have taken over the control of their lives.
The seller, the lender, the appraiser, inspectors and even contractors all seem to have wrestled away power with their ability to say yes or no to given situations which ultimately may have an effect on your moving plans. Remember step two, be flexible and step three, Trust in the process.
I shall do my best to help you plan for events and expenses before they occur. I will be available to answer your questions and more importantly I will help educate you as to the steps of the process and the meaning and purpose of each prior to their happening. I will provide you with my analysis of the transaction and my best professional advice on how to proceed with your goals and your security in mind. I will do everything within my ability to protect you and your family’s best interest during the entirety of the transaction.
I will fill you in on the behind the scenes things to help insure that you never feel out of control or uninformed.
Understanding your Options
When things take a turn and smoothness is not what you hoped don’t allow emotions to rule. There is never a need to panic if you understand your options. No matter where we find ourselves there are always options. Things may take longer, prices may change or a person may not perform as expected. Each of these things often have the effect of making us want to just say enough already and walk away from the entire transaction. While that may actually be an available option in many instances, it may not be the best for yourself or your family. Give yourself the time to evaluate all the options and alternatives thoroughly before making a decision. If necessary I can guide you to outside sources to help you with the decision. My objective is your best interest and satisfaction. Allow me assist you where ever you feel the need. That is my job.
The seller is paying for me to give you 100% of my efforts.
Seek Entertainment
When you find yourself at an impasse and realize that there is nothing you can do about something I find that the best action is often a detour. Simply take your mind from it altogether. Everyone hates being in limbo or feeling powerless and the best way to combat such feelings is to do something in which we are in control and act with power. Take a hike, take a trip, play tennis, go bowling or take in a movie. Find anything to do that requires you to invest all of your energy and emotions into. You will benefit from the exercise of your power of choice.
Most often you will discover that getting away from it all for even a brief period of time has a completely rejuvenating effect for not only you but for your family as well.
*****As your House Buyers Representative I minimize stress during your transaction by making an active effort to serve the entirety of your needs. I am available with my best-reasoned expert council and advice through every single step of the transaction acting with your personal best interest in mind. I will work to help you clarify your goals, desires and motivations so you can decide if this choice is your best and wisest choice for this moment in time for you and your family. I will investigate all properties you have an interest in and when you make your choice I will assist you in putting together an offer that the seller will want to agree with. I will negotiate in good faith to get you the very best purchase on the property you desire. I make every effort to protect your money during the transaction; I understand the value of each of your hard earned dollars. I will guide you through the steps of the escrow process and accompany you during inspections.
I will be your level headed sounding board or relief valve when necessary. I shall counsel you through any feelings of remorse and anxiety and keep you informed so that you never feel things are out of control. I can provide many resources which as the closing process nears its end you can be best prepared for the final big step of moving. You will also discover that after the transaction has ended I am still just as available as ever to serve any need in which I may be of assistance.
I do not need to sell you a home but I would be honored to assist you in locating and acquiring it and in the process earn a friendship that will have been founded upon trust.
Please feel free to utilize me as your resource for your real estate needs.
It would be a pleasure to be of Service. *****
Allow me to help reduce your stress.
Call me today
Darrel Quebedeaux Realtor®
714-317-4366
djq@socal.rr.com
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